How we homeschool

The particular form of homeschooling we adhere to is called  unschooling or lifelearning. This method of learning is based off of a child’s interests, and varies family to family. We are personally spiritual and study Vedanta and various world religions, as well as being into herbalism and ahimsa; these impact what we do on a day to day basis, and how we parent. Some families may not restrict what their kids eat, but because we are aware of how junk food companies market directly to kids, knowing they can get them hooked at a young age, we avoid going to places that sell these types of foods and drinks. It is important to us to have a healthy, happy family.

I cannot stress enough how unschooling is different for each family. If you are considering following this path, know that it is certainly more organic and natural ( and democratic) then mainstream schooling, but that doesn’t make it always easy. It is easy to let your kids ( if they are very determined like mine) run the show and you in turn begin to neglect your own needs. In our opinion, this is a very bad idea and will serve no one. Sure, you may have to be strict about some things, such as you getting in an hour of alone time a day, or something else that is important to you. Don’t let anyone tell you how to parent, find what is right for your entire family, not just one member. Strive to have balance and mutual respect, and don’t judge yourself, especially if other people tell you you are doing things incorrectly. Ignore them.

Prior to making the decision to unschool, we followed attachment parenting methods of rearing our daughter Kaya, which include co sleeping, baby wearing, extended nursing, etc. We chose not to vaccinate her, and she is almost never sick. We will do this method with all of our children, but there are a few things I regret, one being that I did not take enough time for myself. I was constantly giving and giving, on little sleep and with my creative needs unmet. Kaya is a strong willed, very serious girl ( but with a wonderful sense of love for children and animals) and when she began to hit the toddler age, she got more and more challenging. She didn’t want her father to hold her, nor anyone else. She wanted mom 24/7, but to a very extreme degree. I developed post partum depression and anxiety, and barely got through it. If I could go back in time, I would have had her spend more time with her dad and grand parents instead of only being with me, even if I had to force myself to get the free time I needed, because in the long run, I think it would have helped her feel comfortable with more people other then myself. This is hard to convey, as in the APing, natural parenting community, there is an emphasis on mom being the APer, instead of dad or grandparents. You have to feel what works for you, and take care of yourself, whether you are a single dad or mom, or whatever. In Korea, many grandparents APed until the mom got home from work, then she would take over. In India, our friends have the entire family living at home with them, ready to help with the baby and kids- a house full of cousins, grandparents, sibblings, and stepmoms/dads. How much easier is that, (and what a community of help and love/support) then just having mom slave away?

Balance is the key.

What I like about unschooling is that it is a natural way of learning: by following one’s interests. Children and adults fail to really learn from the memorise-test system that schools use. One just memorises, tests, then forgets. It is a pointless, vicious cycle, and promotes followers, not leaders. We adapt our daily routine to what Kaya is interested in learning. Since travel is a large part of our lives, she is surrounded by different cultures and languages, so she is always seeing how things are done in different parts of the world.

There are many books on the subject of unschooling, and I personally like:

The Unschooling Handbook : How to Use the Whole World As Your Child’s Classroom [Paperback]

Mary Griffith (Author)

The Unschooling Unmanual [Paperback]

Nanda Van Gestel (Author)

Unschooling: A Lifestyle of Learning [Paperback]

Sara McGrath (Author)

Religious and spiritual families can also unschool. I am totally in LOVE with Pagan Homeschooling, a book that anyone interested in metaphysics, spirituality, and earth based lifestyles will LOVE. I can’t thank Kristin Madden enough for writing it. Another spiritual ( but not religious) must have is Nurturing Spirituality in Children, which gives amazing hands on activities to help young children ( and older ones) learn about metaphysical concepts.

The one particular book I know of regarding religious unschooling is a Christian one called Christian Unschooling by Teri Brown. We are Vedantists ( Ramakrishna Order) aka Hindu and interfaith ministers, so even though we are not Christian per se, we still get a lot out of learning the basic teachings of the bible that focus on compassion. Raising Faith Filled Kids is another great addition, as is Sacred Dwelling, both of which are Christian based but can apply to any religion, if looked at in an open minded way.

I also love a few classical homeschooling books such as The Well Trained Mind and The Well educated Mind, which  I enjoy for reference and for learning various things I personally find interesting. Remember, unschooling/lifelearning is a whole family activity, it is a way of living.


2 Responses to How we homeschool

  1. thank you for this list! i have a 4 year old and am on the fence about homeschooling/unschooling. a hard commitment, but in my heart, i feel it’s right. i’ve connected with a couple bay area, california groups. one is secular and the other is not. it’s been harder for me…more than i ever imagined, as someone raised without religion , to have an open mind with the religious group. i am struggling with how much do i need to relate with these people? do we have to share all the same values or just some? can i form meaningful relationships with them when they believe in and participate in things that i am very uncomfortable with? and, on the flip side, i am drawn to them. i have always been curious and have taken on religious studies both in school and on my own. i yearn for more of a spiritual presence in my home and with my family. so, again, thank you for this list and sharing your experience. i will look for some of these books for sure!

    • Erika, thank you so much for writing me! I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL both on homeschooling feeling right and with you feeling pulled to the religious group. Some denominations are very respectful of people regardless of if you are the same religion. Others are very pushy. If they are respectful, then wonderful. If not, avoid them. I am not Christian, but I’m currently reading several Christian books and the authors all have such amazing perspectives about their religion, perspectives I have never heard before. They too make me feel uplifted and I am drawn to their work.
      If that group is not right for you, there are MANY homeschoolers and unschoolers on twitter. I have met hundreds!! Lots of support on there.

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